Oceans and Hearts
by TheMusicLives
Summary: ...she was hiding this from him, which made it important. Larger than it should be. - Season 6 Character Study, Tony DiNozzo. TIVA in every way.


**A/N**: I watched _Legend I, Legend II, _and_ Semper Fidelus_ last night for the millionth time and Tony was shouting in my head when I woke up this morning. This is the result. Just a little season six character study on our favorite Very Special Agent. I hope you enjoy.

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~o~

_Oceans and Hearts_

~o~

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He'd always wanted her.

There had always been that part of him that was drawn to her physically; a glance at her when she bent over, the brush of skin if they squeezed past each other, the playful banter that made her eyes flash.

For years he'd been at her side, watching her grow from the mysterious, wavy-haired girl defending her brother to the beautiful woman with the smooth hair that she drew back, displaying her cheeks and widows peak. He couldn't remember when she'd started wearing make-up, only that he'd noticed one day how it defined her already striking eyes and softly smirking lips

He'd felt there was a part of him missing while he was doing his stint as Agent Afloat, he knew he missed the whole team, but never that he'd missed her specifically. He had her pictures to keep him company, eyes always watching him like _she'd_ always done, but seeing her again had been special. It was like they'd never been apart. Like he was suddenly himself again. She'd been the missing piece all along, but he still didn't grasp that.

It wasn't until those soft lips were frequently whispering Hebrew nothings through a phone receiver that he realized it was no longer a physical thing. There'd been a slight flare of _curiosity_ that hadn't been his normal, insatiable kind. The word _jealousy_ was thrown around a couple times, but he'd convinced himself he was only looking out for her. He was protective of his own; she knew that.

But she was hiding this from him, which made it important. Larger than it should be.

Her eyes were sparkling one day and he knew she was falling for _him_, the one on the other end of the phone. And if she was falling, that meant her heart was residing on the other side of an ocean. Which would eventually cause her body to follow. Permanently.

She couldn't stay with Tony forever if a part of her was missing.

And if _she_ was missing that would mean part of Tony would be missing. A part of him he needed. His heart would be over that same ocean with no hope of reunion. He would suffer, but she'd be happy and isn't that what he wanted? The beautiful woman would be in pain if she didn't join her heart.

When he suspected what _he_ was doing, what _he_ was risking pulling Ziva into, Tony kind of lost it. She obviously trusted this _Michael _with her heart and this _Michael_ was pulling the wool over her eyes.

The whole thing was making Tony doubt her. It was making him worry about what she'd say or do and it wasn't supposed to be that way with your partner. With the person who completed you in all aspects. The person you trusted with your life.

He knew Ziva's America life so well, her personality, her quirks, how she reacted in situations and how she fought with all she had. Now the mysterious girl was showing through and making her hard to recognize as _his _Ziva. It was how he'd thought of her for some time now, not that he remembered when that happened either. Just that it was true.

Tony always seemed to be the last to know when it came to these things.

The moment that she suspected Tony's doubts, there was a crack in her façade. A flicker of doubt in her own actions. One that she hid from herself by placing all blame on Tony. It wasn't an easy thing to bear, but he did it for her.

Just as he did it _for her _when he went to her apartment. To protect her. To save her from _him_, the one who was placing the life Ziva had built in danger. It might have been poetic justice that _he _had opened the door instead of Ziva, but it may have just been that there was someone listening up there when Tony's thoughts had taken the _please, no_ turn. The _anyone but her_ direction where he was about to lose all faith in the beautiful assassin who'd become his best friend.

After that he'd acted on instinct. He really didn't have anything to apologize for… until he saw the look on her face. Then he wished he'd been the one without a pulse.

Her heart had stopped and it showed in her eyes. In the broken way she hung herself against the wall in the hospital. The way she'd taken him down, the tears in her voice and the accusatory tone.

It was going to be a long time before those eyes would flash with amusement again. Before she would let her guard down around him again. If she could ever trust him again, they had a long way to go.

When the cargo doors closed on the plane without Ziva at his side, he knew just how _far_ they had to go.

_An ocean._

It seemed his heart found it's way across the ocean after all. He just didn't know if it would ever make it's way back.

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_Wherever you go, whatever you do  
I will be right here, waiting for you_

_

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_**A/N**: Just a little something. Hopefully you'll write me a little something about what you thought. Thanks for reading!_  
_


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